2009-06-10

Rejoice, the barometer is safe.

I live in York.  It is a culturally rich, vibrant and interesting place.  It is the 24th most populous city in England.  You would expect that in a busy, well populated city that there would be a lot of interesting things to write about, and you would be correct.  The panoply of York life is an abundant source of a variety of newsworthy stories.  So what have our local journalists been writing about recently?

A little over three weeks ago a barometer was stolen from Fairfax House, a York museum.  In the last three weeks, there have been six – yes SIX – stories in the York Press about the barometer theft.  We have had the barometer theft, the police appeal for witnesses to the barometer theft, a second police appeal for witnesses to the barometer theft four days after the first (!), a valuation of the barometer, a self-congratulatory return of the barometer article and today, the arrest of a woman over the theft of the barometer.  The same picture of the grinning museum director holding the barometer has appeared in the paper for the last two days.

Please, please, York Press, stop writing about the barometer theft.  I am heartily sick of hearing about the barometer.  Something else - not related to the barometer - must be happening somewhere in York.  I may, if I have to read another article about the barometer, be provoked into a rage fuelled spree of barometer vandalism, which would, ironically, cause you to write even more barometer stories than you have already.  Please, I beseech you, for the sake of my sanity, never, ever mention the barometer again.

10 comments:

Simon said...

Glad to hear you’ve so far weathered the storm of this news story, but your pressure does seem to be rising.

Marc said...

Simon, under normal circumstances your joke would be funny. Unfortunately, it's a barometer reference and is therefore beyond the pale. You disgust me.

Anonymous said...

Haha ha... I reckon those bagheads did well to steal such a monstrosity in broad daylight myself... And Marc, if you didn't wanna talk about it you shouldn't have written a blog about it!! hahaha

Marc Fearns said...

Anonymous, you're quite correct, their security is obviously quite poor and as far as writing about it goes, I just can't help myself. My every waking moment is dominated by thoughts of the barometer. How is it? Is it warm enough? What does it look like without any clothes? Has it had a good day? What are it's views on the BNP? Due to the regular updates in The Press I have become conditioned into thinking about the barometer on a regular basis. They must be stopped.

Jonathan said...

The arrested woman. What was her name? Not Mrs. Best was it?

Simon said...

I thought that, but she is 20 so a bit younger than Mrs.B

Marc said...

Jonathan, Mrs Best has not been named yet.

Simon, there is no witty reply to what you have written. If anyone has one, please add it to the comments section.

Jonathan said...

Ha Ha Simon likes a girl

Marc said...

Apparently there is.

Simon said...

Jonathan, she's no girl. She's a lady.