I just checked my mobile and found a text message on it from 14:30:

Did you get my text hun ? Im waitin for you at yours but need to get back before four ! X

I'll resist criticising the woeful spelling and punctuation and concentrate on the message itself.  I don't know who it's from, the number isn't in my phone and I don't recognise it.  This means that the person possibly sent the text to the wrong number.  The sender seems unsure as to whether I have received a prior text (I haven't) so it's possible that the sender is a serial wrong-numberer.

The sender is, according to the text, in my house.  I have scoured the house.  There are no additional strange people here.  Again, this points to a wrong number.

The texter addresses me as "hun" - I assume that this is an abbreviation of honey, not a war-film related pet-name - and ends the message with a kiss (a capital one).  From this, I can only deduce that the sender is a woman.

The general tone of the text is both intriguing and revealing; the woman is, according to her, waiting at mine, but needs to hurry away within an hour and a half.  This screams extramarital assignation, which is odd, as I'm not involved in any illicit dalliances.

There are two possible conclusions that can be drawn here.  Either this is a wrong number, or I'm having an affair that I'm not aware of.

I'm not sure what to do now.  Should I ignore the message?  Should I reply?  If I send a reply, what should it be?  Please advise me via the comments section.  I will act upon the best advice.

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Simon said...

Reply saying 'excuse me, I think you sent a text message to my phone in error, it involed arranging a meeting and was addressed to 'hun'. I don't recognise your number. Thanks'

Marc said...

So you're ruling out the possibility I'm having an affair that I don't know about, Simon?

David of York said...

I say play her at her own game. Send her an equally 'friendly' text in reply...

Simon said...

@Marc, yes. Luckily for you I am. An unknown affair could get you into the kind of trouble you get into when you leave parts of a bicycle in the kitchen for several months, only worse.

Anonymous said...

reply, "where are you in my house?"

Jonathan said...

Three things. Firstly, I use an X as opposed to a x. I am not a woman. Secondly, I think you should just reply with your blog address. Thirdly, has your caption competition closed yet?

Marc said...

Thanks for all the advice. I have decided to send a text, based on a combination of the advice of anonymous, evil genius Liz Gregory (who advised me via Twitter, which is a shame as there would have been a link to her very fine blog here if she'd used the comments section), and Jon. Sorry Simon and David. Here's what I sent just now:

Hi, I didn't get your text until after four. I searched the house for you, but you'd already gone or are very well hidden. This article may explain why I didn't reply sooner: http://fearns.blogspot.com/2010/02/errrhelp.html