Summer In York

Today was a fairly typical summer day. Here's some footage that I shot this afternoon.

Yorkshire Wife

Briony picked this up on her way home this evening. It's very good. If you click on it, you can see it in a larger size.

We do not keep coal in the bath.

Image via Wikipedia

A poll by tissue product manufacturer SCA has found that 41.1% of British men and 33.1% of British women do not have a bath or a shower every day. The poll also found that the dirtiest people in Britain live in Yorkshire where 16% of people bathe or shower once or twice a week and only 54% of people bathe or shower daily.

I am appalled by this and would like to point out that in the Fearns household we are in the 54% that bathe or shower daily. I know that not everyone is as conscientious with regard to their personal hygiene as we are.

A couple of years ago, a friend was visiting us. Briony and I took him into the York branch of Lush (yes, we have one). He scrutinised a bar of soap for many seconds before picking it up. He then turned to the sales assistant and asked, in a tone which made it seem that he was wholly unfamiliar with the substance, "Is this soap?" He was somewhat put out by her response which was hysterical laughter. He turned to Briony and I for support to discover Briony had dissolved into a giggling fit and that tears of laughter were rolling down my cheeks. He maintains to this day that it was a reasonable question because "It's hard to tell what's soap and what isn't in there."

Anyway, I digress. I just wanted to point out that we bathe regularly and that we smell nice.

The Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge.

Five friends and I attempted the twenty five miles and three mountains that is the Yorkshire Three Peaks Challenge yesterday.  Here’s a report on how everybody fared.

Andrew

An hour and a half into the walk Andrew arrived at the top of the first peak - half an hour after the rest of the party.  His pallid complexion was an alarming combination of light and dark grey.  With Mark’s assistance he struggled through the descent and walked to the nearest train station, where he caught the Andrew Special back to Horton-in-Ribblesdale.  From this we learn that the Yorkshire Three Peaks is not the way to recuperate from a serious chest infection.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard.” - At the top of the first peak, one that he has climbed before.

 

Bees

Bees performed wholly as predicted.  Despite being the oldest member of the party by some considerable margin, he yomped up and down the peaks like a mountain goat.  He spent more time waiting for the rest of us to join him at summits than he did ascending them.  When we eventually joined him at the top of the third peak, he had acquired a stick and seemed to have grown a short beard.  He accomplished the Three Peaks with seemingly no effort or pain, he claimed to have a blister but I suspect that was to make the rest of us feel less inadequate.  As usual, he disgraced himself with his bizarre taste in outdoor apparel, which appears to be worsening.

“I think I should put on my under-hat.” - No, I didn’t know what an under-hat was either.  I wish I still didn’t.

 

Brad

Brad arrived at the first summit noting that he’d found the climb quite hard work.  He then proceeded to vomit his breakfast over a surprisingly large area, and announced that with its ingredients of coffee, toast and cereal, it tasted like a breakfast smoothie.  After this shaky start he recovered well and, despite the pain and exhaustion that most of us shared, completed the Three Peaks uneventfully.  He retains his World’s Slowest Man Down A Hill title, managing to maintain a downhill speed only marginally faster than glacial motion.  He does this through fear of being awarded the World’s Fastest Man Down A Hill title.

“I’m going to cover the area where the sun doesn’t shine.” – On entering the bathroom with a jar of Vaseline.  I don’t believe that he was referring to Yorkshire.

 

Hayley

Hayley was the only lady in the party.  She hadn’t done much serious walking or gone up too many mountains before and was concerned that she wouldn’t be able to complete the course.  After about two hours she noted that the freezing conditions, combined with the strong winds and stinging raindrops had caused her to suffer quite a serious injury to her hair.  She ascended all of the peaks more quickly than some of her more experienced companions (me), and made less fuss about the effort required than some of her more experienced companions (me again).  On the descent from the final peak she calmly announced that she’d never walked a distance of twenty five miles before.  When not leaping buildings in a single bound she can be found in her local branch of Superdrug, emptying the shelves of Frizz-Ease.

“It was really great to spend a day with you guys – NEVER AGAIN!” – On learning that men smell, swear a lot, and do some very bizarre things in the name of fun.

 

Marc

That would be me.  There's no photo, I'm only allowed five.  This jaunt was my idea, I apologise to all concerned.  It was the hardest physical thing that I have ever done.  I climbed slowly (as usual) and descended reasonably quickly, though gingerly (strained left hamstring).  I completed the course despite my shameful sense of direction, fear of wild animals – there were uncaged sheep and cows - and my vertigo (which obliged me to crawl up most of the third peak).  Alone on the long descent from the third peak, secure in the knowledge that I would soon complete the course, I thought of the difficulty of the thing that we had just accomplished and actually shed tears.

“For my next birthday we’re doing something in the pub.”

Mark

Mark, the baby of the group, is Andrew’s younger brother.  Once the Andrew Special had borne away its ailing cargo and he was freed from the obligation of filial loyalty he set about the rest of the walk with some trepidation.  Though an experienced walker and walker up stuff he had never attempted a challenge as arduous as this.  He struggled on the climb up the second peak and, when we stopped for tea before the ascent of the third peak, attempted to die.  Fortunately he recovered and valiantly went on to complete the challenge in much pain and with a left hamstring injury to match my own.

“I only came because I thought that if Andrew could do it, it must be easy.” – on realising that the challenge ahead was more daunting that he had originally suspected.