We do not keep coal in the bath.

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A poll by tissue product manufacturer SCA has found that 41.1% of British men and 33.1% of British women do not have a bath or a shower every day. The poll also found that the dirtiest people in Britain live in Yorkshire where 16% of people bathe or shower once or twice a week and only 54% of people bathe or shower daily.

I am appalled by this and would like to point out that in the Fearns household we are in the 54% that bathe or shower daily. I know that not everyone is as conscientious with regard to their personal hygiene as we are.

A couple of years ago, a friend was visiting us. Briony and I took him into the York branch of Lush (yes, we have one). He scrutinised a bar of soap for many seconds before picking it up. He then turned to the sales assistant and asked, in a tone which made it seem that he was wholly unfamiliar with the substance, "Is this soap?" He was somewhat put out by her response which was hysterical laughter. He turned to Briony and I for support to discover Briony had dissolved into a giggling fit and that tears of laughter were rolling down my cheeks. He maintains to this day that it was a reasonable question because "It's hard to tell what's soap and what isn't in there."

Anyway, I digress. I just wanted to point out that we bathe regularly and that we smell nice.