A...er...y'know...Video

Errr...Help!

I just checked my mobile and found a text message on it from 14:30:

Did you get my text hun ? Im waitin for you at yours but need to get back before four ! X

I'll resist criticising the woeful spelling and punctuation and concentrate on the message itself.  I don't know who it's from, the number isn't in my phone and I don't recognise it.  This means that the person possibly sent the text to the wrong number.  The sender seems unsure as to whether I have received a prior text (I haven't) so it's possible that the sender is a serial wrong-numberer.

The sender is, according to the text, in my house.  I have scoured the house.  There are no additional strange people here.  Again, this points to a wrong number.

The texter addresses me as "hun" - I assume that this is an abbreviation of honey, not a war-film related pet-name - and ends the message with a kiss (a capital one).  From this, I can only deduce that the sender is a woman.

The general tone of the text is both intriguing and revealing; the woman is, according to her, waiting at mine, but needs to hurry away within an hour and a half.  This screams extramarital assignation, which is odd, as I'm not involved in any illicit dalliances.

There are two possible conclusions that can be drawn here.  Either this is a wrong number, or I'm having an affair that I'm not aware of.

I'm not sure what to do now.  Should I ignore the message?  Should I reply?  If I send a reply, what should it be?  Please advise me via the comments section.  I will act upon the best advice.

Bye Bye Blue Bear

Sometimes, as an adult, you have to be mature, grown up, and responsible.  You are obligated to be dutiful and conscientious.  You may not like it, but that's the way it is.  You may have to make sacrifices for the next generation and, no matter how hard it is - how great your forfeiture - you'll probably not be thanked, or even recognised, for it.

So it is today; with moist eye and heavy heart, it is time for me to say goodbye to the Blue Bear (as I have come to call him).  So long, old chum.  It's been a great couple of weeks since we bought you in anticipation of my nephew's birth.  If my sister hadn't given birth twelve days late, our parting would never have been as hard as this.  Bye Bye Blue Bear, I hope Benjamin takes good care of you.

Mad Men

My obsession with Mad Men is seemingly boundless and now I'm in it, courtesy of this excellent site.  You too can "Mad Men yourself".  Feel free to send me the results and I'll add them to the post.

The Emperor Constantine. Eboracum. AD 2010.

Always Funny.

Caption Competition

I recently won Sarah Canterbury's caption competition.  Inspired by this win, and by this excellent piece of work by Ceci Masters, I have decided to hold a caption competition of my own.

The winner will be decided when I get tired of laughing at this picture, which may be never.

Ironside

In the late '60s, a new detective show came from America - Ironside.  It's mainly remembered for its brilliant Quincy Jones theme tune and for starring Raymond Burr as the eponymous wheelchair-bound hero.


The '60s were truly another time.  The character's name was Ironside and he was in a wheelchair.  How did they get away with that, even then?  Ironside was hugely successful and ran for many series.  What else could we have watched in the '60s and '70s?  Here are a few of the less successful shows from that era you may be unaware of.


Defoe (1972/3):  A series about a detective with hearing difficulties.


Classic Episode: Loose Lips Sink Ships.
A corrupt Navy officer and his accomplice plot to fire a torpedo at a U.S. aircraft carrier which is in harbour.  Fortunately, Defoe is able to lipread them discussing the plot and raises the alarm, causing the ship to be evacuated.


Classic Quote
Baddie: "Curse you Defoe, why couldn't you have minded your own business?"
Defoe: "Half past two."




Miss Ingham Investigates (1978):  A show about an unmarried amputee policewoman.


Classic Episode:  Disarming Silence
Miss Ingham disarms a bomb and receives a big round of applause.  She then becomes upset for no reason.  Silly Woman.


Classic Quote
Inspector James: "Hold him, Ingham!"
Miss Ingham: "I'll put him in handcuff, sir"




CSI Clopse (1979): A drama set in Clopse, Massachussets featuring Kent Sewell, one-eyed forensic scientist.


Classic Episode: Out Of His Depth
A frustrating case in which the hero can see the solution on the desk in front of him but can't quite put his finger on it.


Classic Quote
Police Dog-Handler "This is my dog, Patch."
Kent Sewell: "This is my man-patch."




King Rider (1968): An early precursor to Knight Rider featuring one-eared crime-fighter, Vincent King, and his talking van, Gogh.


Classic Episode:  Some Flowers.
King is asked by the U.S. Government to infiltrate a lab and investigate a technician believed to be a Soviet spy.  He is unmasked rather quickly as his lab goggles keep falling off.


Classic Quote
King: "You've got to be subtle here."
Gogh: "I understand Vincent, I won't make a spectacle of myself."




Lean (1966) Featuring an eponymous Private-Eye with one leg shorter than the other.


Classic Episode:  Lapland
A child runs away from home but, as he is not allowed to cross the road, keeps running round the block.  Lean is the ideal man to catch him.


Classic Quote
Lean: I've brought disgrace to the good name of my family and my city.  I'll leave after nightfall."
Mayor: I'll be there to make sure you slope off, Lean".




The A-A-A-A-A Team (1980): A gang of do-gooding stuttering ex-marines on the run from the a-a-a-a-authorities.


Classic Episode: Pizza The Action
The A-A-A-A-A Team phone for a pizza before spending the remaining thirty seconds building an armoured car.


Classic Quote
Farmer: "We've only got two minutes to save the dam."
Bannibal: "No talking!"


This is not a definitive list, by the way.  If you know of any shows that I've missed here, feel free to add them using the comments section.